Calling one’s wife one’s 'mother' in anger or in jest
24 Aug 2011 01:33 GMT
 
Some ten years ago, I said to my wife in an anger “O my mother, please stop nagging me.” At that time, I did not know the consequence of declaring one’s wife one’s mother. Now, we are happily married and living together. Only recently I have come to know that this is prohibited in Islam. Can you please advice me as to what I should do now?

Answered by

the Fatwa Department Research Committee - chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî

Do not worry. What you did is not the oath of zihâr.

The oath of zihâr is where a man swears an oath declaring his wife to be “like the back of his mother” in order to make sexual relations with her unlawful to him while not actually divorcing her. This was a common form of oppression that was perpetrated against women in pre-Islamic Arabia.

If a man does this sinful act, he may not have sexual relations with his wife again until after he frees a slave. If he is unable to do this (which is the case today in the absence of slaves) then he must fast for two consecutive months before he can have sexual relations with his wife again. If he is truly and absolutely incapable of fasting, then and only then may he turn to the next expiation, which is the feeding of 60 poor people. [Refer to Sûrah al-Mujâdilah: 3-5]

If you merely called your wife your mother, meaning that she is behaving like your mother or nagging you like a mother would nag someone, then this is something else entirely.

Source: Islam Today



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