CAIRO - Marriage has become a troubling problem for many Muslims in Britain as parents are finding difficulty in finding suitable partners for their children, forcing many to postpone it to older age.
Parents should start a dialogue with their children regarding marriage earlier rather than delaying it. Maybe from the age of twenty onwards, a Muslim scholar, who did not wish to be named, told Asian Image on Monday, March 25.Assistance should be sought from senior members of the community outlining a clear criterion for the prospective spouse.
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This is a tried and tested traditional method which is very effective.
Marriage has become a troubling problem for many Muslims in Britain.
Muslim parents have been facing difficulty in finding suitable partners to their children, forcing many to postpone marriage to older age.
Parents need to understand the importance of compatibility, the imam said.
Our children who are born and bred here in the United Kingdom should look for partners here, as there is already an understanding of British and Muslim life.
The imam opines that Muslim parents in Britain should pick up British-born spouses for their children.
A partner from abroad will find it difficult to adjust to the British way of life and more importantly they will encounter issues in trying to live a normal acceptable life with their partners, he said.
Sometimes one of the two may feel traumatized and oppressed in some way.
This is the reality we as a community will have to accept and find a solution to. Some young men and women end up living like slaves in marriage whereas married life is a blissful and happy life if the true teachings of Islam are adhered to by all parties.
He advised Muslim youngsters to discuss their concerns with their parents or seek advice from British Muslim imams and scholars.
At the same time children will have an opportunity to mention to parents how they feel, he said.
Sometimes youngsters feel it is too soon to settle down but due to the challenges we are facing in society, I would say the sooner the better.
Young people should approach their local English speaking scholars for guidance in these issues. British born scholars and Imams will understand the problems faced by the youth of today so are well placed to advised and guide.
British Muslims are estimated at nearly 2.5 million.
The imam urged British Muslims to maintain Islamic manners whiling looking for their spouses.
Youngsters should avoid any activity, conduct or behavior that would damage their reputation. Decisions for marriage are based on reputation, character and piety, he said.
As individuals we should have a good character and demonstrate an understanding of responsibility.
Marriage in Islam is of utmost importance as it is upon the lawful union of a man and a woman that society grows strong and that moral is preserved.
In Islam it is not permissible for the guardian to compel the one under his guardianship to marry someone she does not desire to marry.
Rather, it is necessary to seek her consent and permission.
The imam also urged community leaders to offer advice to young couples to help curb rising divorce rates.
Young married couples should seek early intervention and assistance when experiencing problems in their marriage.
Too many young spouses are leaving it too late and suffering in silence and early intervention always helps and reduces suffering, he said.
Again intervention should be sought from understanding local scholars who should be able to advise and illuminate issues resulting in a better matrimonial life.In most cases the problem is minor and could have been dealt with very easily had help been sought earlier. This will definitely result in the divorce rates dropping drastically if this strategy is adopted.
Reproduced with permission from OnIslam.net