The husband has to treat his wife in a good and kind manner, and to spend on her food, drink, clothing and accommodation, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
âand live with them honourablyâ
âAnd they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wiseâ
Ahmad (20025) and Abu Dawood (2142) narrated that Muâaawiyah ibn Haydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said, âO Messenger of Allaah, what are the rights of the wife of any one of us over him?â He said: âThat you should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.â
Al-Albaani said concerning this hadeeth in Saheeh Abi Dawood: (it is) hasan saheeh.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined good treatment of women in more than one hadeeth. Hence the husband has to fear Allaah with regard to his wife, and give each person his or her rights. Honouring one's parents and upholding the ties of kinship do not conflict with treating one's wife kindly and honouring her and taking care of her. The best that can be mentioned concerning that is the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): âThe best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.â Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895) and Ibn Maajah (1977). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) regarded being kind to one's family as being the criterion with regard to who is best. Whoever wants to be one of the best of the Muslims should be kind to his family, which includes being kind to oneâs wife, children and relatives.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âYou will never spend anything seeking thereby the Face of Allaah, but you will be rewarded for it, even (the food) that you put in your wifeâs mouth.â Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 56.
You should examine the reasons for the shortcomings in the way he treats you; perhaps that is due to a shortcoming on your part with respect to his rights; perhaps you do not pay attention to him, or adorn yourself for him, or hasten to meet his needs.
You should be more patient, because there is a lot of good in being patient and it brings a great deal of reward. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
âand be patient. Surely, Allaah is with those who are As‑Saabiroon (the patient)â
âVerily, he who fears Allaah with obedience to Him (by abstaining from sins and evil deeds, and by performing righteous good deeds), and is patient, then surely, Allaah makes not the reward of the Muhsinoon (good‑doers. See V.2:112) to be lostâ
âSo be patient. Surely, the (good) end is for the Muttaqoon (the pious)â
We ask Allaah to put our affairs and the affairs of all the Muslims straight.
And Allaah knows best.