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Spending on sinful father’s wasteful habits

Published: 24/08/2011 12:52:00 AM GMT
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My father always asks for me to give him money. However, he spends most of it on drink and on pornography and on his friends who are just as bad as he is. I do not want to keep giving him money to squander on these people and their ugly activities. What can I do?

Answered by

Sheikh Salman al-Oadah

Our parents have a great right over us. Allah has commanded us to uphold their rights, whether they are Muslim or non-Muslim, whether they are virtuous or sinful – even if they are openly hostile to Islam. Upholding their rights becomes even more important as they grow older.

We are commanded to obey them in what is lawful and not to obey them in sin. In all cases, we are supposed to show kindness and exercise patience.

Allah says: “And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And his weaning was in two years. (Hear the command), ‘Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is your (final) goal.’ But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not: Yet bear them good company in this life, and follow the way of those who turn to Me in repentance. In the end, the return of you all is to Me, and I will inform you of what you used to do.” [Sûrah Luqmân: 14-15]

The more you honor your father, the greater an act of piety it will be for you. It will weigh heavily in your balance of good deeds in the Hereafter.

You do not have to give him money if you feel it will bring him to harm. You can honor your father by purchasing for him things that he needs, like clothing and food, and by giving him gifts.

At the same time, you should gently advise him and guide him to better things. You should never be pushy, however, or show impatience. You should never be harsh in your dealings with him.

Seek Allah’s help in frequent supplications. Ask Allah to guide your father.

May Allah bless you and guide your way.

Source: Islam Today

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