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Advice for father when custody of children awarded to non-practicing mother.

Published: 23/08/2011 07:47:00 PM GMT
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I was married to a muslim woman and have two young daughters. Over the years, there were serious violations of the principles of Islam on her part. Despite this, I continued trying to correct these problems by several means. Ultimately, she chose divorce over obedience to Allah. Moreover, she chose the American law for divorce rather than Islamic law. By court order, she has custody of the children. My deep concern is for the children. Please advise me what I have to do for my children.


Answered by

Sheikh Sâmî al-Mâjid

I pray to Allah to help you in the difficulties you are going through. May Allah compensate you with a better wife.

To answer your letter, I would say that what has taken place cannot be changed. The most important concerns now are:

1. Your daughters and how to raise them in a good environment

2. Looking for a pious wife who will protect your chastity, support you in this life, and provide you with pious children.

You can exploit the time you spend in visiting your daughters by teaching them whatever you can of good manners and the love and reverence that we should have for Allah. Explain to them what is unlawful and the obligations they have to do. Since they are small, start with them step by step and show them patience, tolerance, and understanding. Teach them what is most important. Be as kind to them as you possibly can. Give them gifts. Show them sympathy and love, so that they will be eager to be with you.

During the valuable time you visit your daughters, you should avoid wasting any part of it in disputes with your ex-wife. Any dispute with her might adversely affect your relationship with your daughters and cause them to dislike you. Leave their mother alone. Try to avoid seeing her.

Do not go back to arguing things from the past with a person who is no longer related to you. Your relationship with that woman has been terminated. You have to see what is good for your future. You need to act positively towards ensuring a good future for yourself and your daughters.

Look for a new wife. Ask Allah to help you. Supplicate to Allah more often and do not feel despair. Our Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Your supplication will sure be answered as long as you do not rush, despair and say: ‘I made supplication but I was not answered’.”

Source: Islam Today




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